


Talking Dirty

by AustenlySummers



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: General fiction, Literature, M/M, fan fiction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-23
Updated: 2015-10-23
Packaged: 2018-04-27 15:54:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 952
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5054803
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AustenlySummers/pseuds/AustenlySummers





	Talking Dirty

    "Hey Mattie..."  the American's breath was hot against Canada's neck.  "Wanna hear something dirty?"    
    " _Eh?!_ "    
    "...a pig fell in the mud."    
    Canada frowned as the American burst into laughter at Matthew's expression.   
    "Hahahaha, you fell for it, loser!!!  Seriously, haven't you ever heard that one before?"    
    "No," Canada answered softly.    
    "Oh, c'mon, don't be like that.  What, did you think I was actually gonna say something sexy?"    
    A light blush dusted Canada's cheeks as he murmured again, "No."    
    "Liar."  America sat back on his brother's couch, bringing up his arms behind his head and kicking his feet onto the coffee table.  "Hey, you wanna watch hockey or something?"    
    "I'm busy," Canada murmured, flipping through the stack of documents he was supposed to read.  America frowned at him.  That looked boring as hell.    
    "Why did you even want me to come over if you're not gonna entertain me, huh?"  
    The Canadian looked up at him and blinked in confusion.  "I didn't want you to come over," he pointed out calmly.  "You invited yourself."    
    America paused before remembering, "Oh yeah..."  He shrugged.  "Well now that I'm here you might as well do something with me..."  
    "Alfred, I have to finish this before Arthur gets mad at me for procrastinating."       
    "Pfffft, don't listen to that idiot.  Arthur needs to pull the stick out of his ass and chillax."    
    Canada just gave him a look like that was never going to happen.  
    "At least let me help you--"  
    "Alfred!"  Canada protested as the America grabbed a handful of papers off the coffee table.  "Those are confidential government records!"    
    "Nothing I haven't seen before."  
    "What?"    
    "Oh, nothing."  Alfred flipped through the papers, found them none too interesting and carelessly tossed them back onto the table.  Canada squeaked in concern as he hurried to gather them back up and stack them neatly into a pile.  Why was Alfred always so insistent on bothering him at the most inopurtune times?    
    "Got anything to eat?" America wanted to know.    
    "In the kitchen," Matthew answered.    
    America pulled himself off the couch to dig around in Canada's pantry.  Deciding he didn't have anything to meet his expectations, America huffed, "What do you people eat up here anyway?"    
    Canada sighed as he heard the comment from the other room.  He answered, "Food."    
    "Smartass."    
    "You asked!"    
    "You know what I meant.  Where's the closest McDonald's?"    
    Matthew sighed and told him, hoping it would get the obnoxious American out of his hair for a while.  No such luck.    
    "Ugh, that's too far away!" America complained as he wandered back into the sitting room to join Canada on the couch once more.  "You should build one right next door so I won't starve to death when I'm here."    
    "You won't starve," Canada replied patiently.    
    "That's what you say now."  
    "America!  I'm trying to wo--mmmph!"    
    Canada was cut off by a firm kiss pressed against his lips.  He squeaked in surprise and pulled away from Alfred.  "W-what...what was that for...?" he breathed out.    
    Alfred shrugged and replied, "I dunno.  Just kinda felt like doing it."    
    "Well don't!"  Canada protested, face heating up as he scooted away from the American on the couch.  
    "What, you didn't like it?" America inquired curiously, moving closer to Canada.  
    "Not while I'm working!"  Canada answered, looking away to hide the furious blush decorating his cheeks as he spoke.    
    "Awwwwwww, it's okay, Mattie.  You don't have to lie--"  
    "I'm not lying!  And you're distracting me," Canada reasoned quickly.  But it was no use.  America only scooted closer, caging Canada against the arm of the couch.  "H-hey...knock it off."  The soft-spoken nation attempted to push America away but it was pointless.    
    "Oh, c'mon Mattie!  It's not like you're doing anything better--"  
    "Work, Alfred!"  
    "Pfffft, who cares about that?  I wanna kiss you..."  
    And he did just that, catching the Canadian's lips with his own once more.  Canada let out another surprised squeak, but America wouldn't let him pull away; he kept him pinned against the arm of the couch and nuzzled against him affectionately.  
    "Alfred!" Canada protested, but it was pointless.  He turned his head away to avoid Alfred's lips upon his own.  "Stop it.  I don't want to be doing this right now."  
    "But you want to do it sometime?"   
    Canada blushed bright red.  He stammered, "I-I never said--"  
    "Yeah, I know what you mean, Mattie."  Alfred sat back and gave his brother a knowing look.  "I can wait...but only if you promise that as soon as you finish this stuff I get you all to myself."  
    Canada blinked at him.  After a long moment of silence he muttered, "Fine.  But you have to leave me alone while I'm working, okay?"    
    "Sure," Alfred answered with a shrug.  "Be my guest."  He reclined on the couch and propped his feet up on the coffee table once more.   
   Canada looked like he was about to say something but kept it to himself.  He continued to sort through paperwork as Alfred watched him from the other side of the couch.  After a few minutes, Alfred scooted closer and leaned over his brother.    
    "Hey, Mattie..."  
    "I told you to leave me alone," Canada huffed.  
    "It will be quick, I promise."  
    "...fine, what is it?"    
    "Wanna hear something dirty?"  
    Canada rolled his eyes.  He muttered, "What?"  
    America leaned even closer to his brother and whispered something in his ear.  Canada's face darkened considerably, the furious blush creeping up his neck and cheeks.  Alfred smirked and sat back on the sofa, looking rather smug.  He noted, "What...?  Did you think I was gonna tell you a joke or something?"  
    Canada just glared at him.  America chuckled and said, "Finish your lame paperwork, Mattie.  I'm bored."     
      


End file.
